TGI Summer of Slurpee!

OK...something stupid. I saw an article on the Summer of Slurpee and thought about how stupid it sounded. Here is my take on it:

Dallas-based 7-Eleven convenience stores are set to launch its most ambitious marketing program to date: "The Summer of Slurpee."

"We realize that it's been a difficult year for many Americans," said a spokesperson for 7-Eleven. "Soaring gasoline prices, a sagging economy, global warming, home foreclosures, brush fires, floods and the continued, yet unexplainable success of "The Price is Right Primetime" are helping to contribute to a growing sense of despair and hopelessness among average Americans, as well as the cast of "High School Musical 3.0. So we thought, 'what better way to help someone who has been devastated by natural disaster or stupid financial planning, than by giving them the opportunity to enjoy a classic 7-Eleven Slurpee!'"

Throughout the summer, Slurpee "street teams" will visit malls, beaches, Humvee dealerships and towns washed downstream by raging Mississippi River flood-waters. The Slurpee street teams will be handing out t-shirts, beech towels, FREE Slurpee certificates and autographed photos of Clay Aiken. Added the 7-Eleven spokesperson: "We think the Summer of Slurpee will be a big hit, especially with families across America who have lost everything in recent months."

Anyone wanting to learn where they can find a "Summer of Slurpee Street Team" can log onto 7-Eleven's special micro-site: www.ineedafreakingslurpeejusttosurvivethisshit.com